Is Bacon's Information, Inc utterly clueless? I'd say it's possible

UPDATE: this post now has a 2nd part: Cluelessness & Bacon's -- to finish the story.
And a 3rd part: Bacon's Information & Cluelessness: ("it was an error in judgement" says Bacon's Senior VP)

I love surveys. Can't resist them. I love giving my opinion on just about any subject. And I love looking at the results, where I am usually deliciously confirmed in my prejudices and suspicions about the general population.

So imagine my joy when Bacon's Information, Inc sent me a survey this afternoon to ask about my blogging habits.  Normally, I am reticent about my blogging habits -- it's such a dark art -- but Special Prosecutor.... whoops... Special Project Supervisor Christine Birkner was so inviting that I could not resist:

"I am writing from Bacon's Information, a national source of media information for corporations and public relations professionals. We are asking for your help in updating our blog database by completing the following survey. This information will assist us in updating your FREE listing in Bacon's online media databases and print directories.  Feel free to also include any contact preferences you have, including what types of information you would or would not like to receive from public relations professionals. You may reply to this e-mail, fax your updated information to 800-922-2477 or contact us at any time at blogs@bacons.com. Please contact me with questions or comments.
Thank you."
Christine Birkner
Special Project Supervisor
Bacon's Information, Inc.

Now, does that not ooze with everything that's wrong with our PR industry? Let's parse a little, shall we?

"I am writing from Bacon's Information, a national source of media information..."

Not in my country, you aren't. Christine Birkner apparently thinks I live in the United States. Boy, is she wrong.

"We are asking for your help in updating our blog database by completing the following survey."

Well, of course, they needed something from me. What's not clear is what's in it for me. Oh, wait, here it is.

"This information will assist us in updating your FREE listing in Bacon's online media databases and print directories."

Note the insipid "will assist us"... PR tyros: "help" is a perfectly good verb and makes you sound less simpering. The capitalized "FREE" indicates a writer who secretly admires the work of early direct mail copywriters; clearly, our writer is torn, split, rendered, and quartered senseless. So senseless that she/he never gets around to telling me exactly why I should want a listing, FREE or not, in Bacon's many databases. [Update: hang on... if I'm in their print directory, why don't I get a free copy?]

Finally...I opened the attachment...  a Word document. Now, yes, I can hear all of you screaming "No, No, Allan...turn away from the Light"... but I opened it.

Corruption, corruption... Tom Dewey probably came out of the grave. A mess that was impossible to fill out because of bad formatting, bad attempts to mesh HTML, forms, and Word, you name it...

A train wreck.

Oh, there's more.... I wrote Christine Birkner.

To be continued... UPDATE: this post now has a 2nd part: Cluelessness & Bacon's -- to finish the story.

Technorati tags: Bacon's InformationBacons

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Posted by Allan Jenkins on October 26, 2005 at 10:53 PM in Bizarre & Amusing, Communication Skills, Is Tedious in the House?, Public Relations | Permalink

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Comments

I love a cliffhanger. Can't wait to read the exciting conclusion of this comedy (or is it a tragedy?)...

P.S. I got the same form letter from the same person.

Posted by: Eric Eggertson | Oct 27, 2005 8:30:17 AM

Allan: It elicited a wtf? from me as well.

Snaps on the new blog design btw. I've been tracking you via RSS and have not clicked through in awhile. How long has this new look been live? LOVE. IT.

Posted by: Kevin Dugan | Oct 27, 2005 8:30:25 AM

Well, this is a spoiler, but no one dies, Eric. So it's technically a comedy.

Thank you for the snaps, Kevin. It's about three months old. I'm with you on RSS; only way to go.

Posted by: Allan Jenkins | Oct 27, 2005 11:23:09 AM

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