Atlanta's Terminal E: "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour."

While I don't buy it, a widespread theory holds that ritualized humiliation and a foretaste of Hell is good for you.

Well, if the theory holds, arriving in Atlanta's Terminal E is very, very good for you.

Now, I don't want to be churlish about air travel: with luck, I can leave Copenhagen at mid-day and be in my beloved South in time for dinner. 

But Atlanta Hartsfield airport seems determined to say: we are going to make you regret arriving here.

Upon arrival at Terminal E, you are sent through the usual immigration/bag collection/customs witlessness ("Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "Well, I live abroad." "Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "You mean, besides my house and everything I own? No..." "Welcome to the USA, sir, and excuse the fact I am a moron.").

In every other airport, this exchange would signal your liberation. Not so at Atlanta Terminal E: it signals purgatory. Because now, after collecting your bags and getting them through customs, you are forced to give them up again. That's right... you must recheck your bags, and you will be given no receipt for them. And you won't be told where to pick them up -- 1.5 miles (2.4 km) away -- you will need to suss that out for yourself.

While your bags are on their way elsewhere, you will stand in yet another line and subject yourself to a full security inspection. Just as if you are about to board an airplane, instead of leave an airport. You will show your documents, you will take off your shoes, you will show that your laptop works (and woe betide the lamer who depletes his battery working on the plane).

While in line for "inspection" I muttered "This sure puts a new twist on baggage claim." To which the traveler in front of me responded, "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour in Atlanta Hartsfield."

When you do get through security, you will need to travel 1.5 miles by train to the 2nd baggage claim. If you are lucky, your bag will arrive when you do. If it arrives before you do, there's every chance you will never see it again... the 2nd baggage claim is open to the street, and can be (and is) entered by anyone with sticky fingers and a waiting car.

Welcome to Atlanta.

Technorati Tags: atlanta, airport, hartsfield, concourse e, security, arrivls

Posted by Allan Jenkins on June 11, 2008 at 04:10 PM in Bizarre & Unexpected, Is Tedious in the House?, Travel | Permalink

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Comments

Maybe we start the Superman Effect - wearing a layer of clothing underneath our travel clothes and don't expect to have any carry on luggage... I hope this remains a warped humor exageration.

Posted by: Kare Anderson | Jun 14, 2008 2:47:53 AM

Maybe we start the Superman Effect - wearing a layer of clothing underneath our travel clothes and don't expect to have any carry on luggage... I hope this remains a warped humor exageration.

Posted by: Kare Anderson | Jun 14, 2008 2:50:25 AM

Jesus wouldn't even consider going through Atlanta.

Posted by: Les Potter | Aug 2, 2008 3:43:56 AM

Well, Les, He would if He flew Delta...

Posted by: Allan Jenkins | Aug 2, 2008 9:39:21 PM

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