Atlanta's Terminal E: "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour."

While I don't buy it, a widespread theory holds that ritualized humiliation and a foretaste of Hell is good for you.

Well, if the theory holds, arriving in Atlanta's Terminal E is very, very good for you.

Now, I don't want to be churlish about air travel: with luck, I can leave Copenhagen at mid-day and be in my beloved South in time for dinner. 

But Atlanta Hartsfield airport seems determined to say: we are going to make you regret arriving here.

Upon arrival at Terminal E, you are sent through the usual immigration/bag collection/customs witlessness ("Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "Well, I live abroad." "Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "You mean, besides my house and everything I own? No..." "Welcome to the USA, sir, and excuse the fact I am a moron.").

In every other airport, this exchange would signal your liberation. Not so at Atlanta Terminal E: it signals purgatory. Because now, after collecting your bags and getting them through customs, you are forced to give them up again. That's right... you must recheck your bags, and you will be given no receipt for them. And you won't be told where to pick them up -- 1.5 miles (2.4 km) away -- you will need to suss that out for yourself.

While your bags are on their way elsewhere, you will stand in yet another line and subject yourself to a full security inspection. Just as if you are about to board an airplane, instead of leave an airport. You will show your documents, you will take off your shoes, you will show that your laptop works (and woe betide the lamer who depletes his battery working on the plane).

While in line for "inspection" I muttered "This sure puts a new twist on baggage claim." To which the traveler in front of me responded, "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour in Atlanta Hartsfield."

When you do get through security, you will need to travel 1.5 miles by train to the 2nd baggage claim. If you are lucky, your bag will arrive when you do. If it arrives before you do, there's every chance you will never see it again... the 2nd baggage claim is open to the street, and can be (and is) entered by anyone with sticky fingers and a waiting car.

Welcome to Atlanta.

Technorati Tags: atlanta, airport, hartsfield, concourse e, security, arrivls

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 04:10pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Is Tedious in the House?, Travel | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) | TrackBack (0)

"Marc Jacobs plagiarized my dad's scarf" says Swede

Did Marc Jacobs rip off a design for a scarf? And, if he did, why on earth did he choose this one?

From our "frightening-if-true" department comes this dispatch from the Swedish provinces:

"A 55-year-old man from Arvika in western Sweden believes that he may own the rights to a scarf currently being marketed by top US fashion designer Marc Jacobs.

Göran Olofsson remembers well the brightly coloured scarf created by his father Gösta in the 1950s.

"I was very surprised when I saw the new scarf. It looks like a clear case of plagiarism," he told The Local.

With its picturesque little church and wood huts, the scarf is very much a product of its origins. In fact, the two bears, the pasque flowers and the coat of arms depicted on the fabric are all symbols of Härjedalen, a county located in northern Sweden.

Emblazoned across the top of the original is the name of the village, Linsell, where Göran Olofsson grew up with his enterprising father.

Gösta Olofsson, who passed away in 1982, ran a petrol station in the village with a shop where he sold his own homemade tourist paraphernalia, mainly postcards based on his own sketches.

"I would guess that he had about a thousand of these scarves made up," said Göran Olofsson."

My secret hope is... actually, I hope Marc and Göran are in this together, and that we can all share a merry laugh around the pasque flowers come May. But mind the bears!

    Technorati : Göran Olofsson, Marc Jacobs, linsell, tacky fashion

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 11:28pm in Bizarre & Unexpected | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0)

Debbie Weil performs liposuction on Alliconnect

You may not have noticed the new Alliconnect Blog,. Alliconnect is a place to discuss weight loss with the creators of alli, an over-the-counter weight control medication, approved for OTC sales in the USA, made by GlaxoSmithKline.

I am not quite sure how alli works.. the blog is coy on the subject, but since it discusses "oops moments" ("Good thing I was close to home so I could change my clothes!" says chief blogger Steve Burton) and "undigested fat floating in the toilet," I can only speculate that the drug blocks fat absorption. Why be coy about that? Were I seriously overweight and committed to losing weight, I am perfectly fine with learning the possible side effects. But since it's a corporate product fluff blog, we can leave that.

The problem for GlaxoSmithKline is that the alliconnect blog has attracted almost no readers and only a handful of comments -- all but one of those are from the GSK "alli" team the GSK "alli" team or prominent corporate blogging adviser Debbie Weil, who advised on the project.

Now, that would normally be a problem between GSK and Weil. But Weil has made the bad results -- the falling short of client expectations -- brutally obvious in a public way. Can things be so bad she's asking PR bloggers to "seed" comments onto the alliconnect blog?

Yes.

David Murray quotes this email from Weil on his blog:

***

Hi everyone,

This is a shameless request. I'm working with GlaxoSmithKline on the
official corporate blog for alli, the first FDA-approved, OTC weight
loss product. You may have seen the TV ads.

While traffic to the blog is growing, readers seem shy about leaving Comments.

You can help jump start the two-way conversation! Take a peek at the
blog at http://www.alliconnect.com.

If you're inspired or provoked, leave a comment on any entry. No need
to say that you know me, of course.

It really is kind of neat that a Global 100 company is doing a blog
like this. It's not easy.

- D

--
Debbie Weil
t: 202.364.5705 m: 202.255.1467
site: http://www.debbieweil.com
blog: http://www.BlogWriteForCEOs.com
book: http://www.TheCorporateBloggingBook.com

***

Weil (an IABC conference speaker, by the way) has truly wedged herself in a tight spot. I cannot believe GSK's alliconnect is going to get a sudden surge of comments from her feeble plea -- you'd have to be an obese PR blogger more than ready to shill for no pay -- and I'm certainly skeptical of her professional ethics. What I wonder is who thought this up? Weil, alone, in desperation? Or did GSK lean on her? Either way, it's another sad ethics tale for our profession.

If you're inspired or provoked, leave a comment on any entry. No need
to say that you know me, of course.

OK! Who can resist!

Technorati : GSK, OTC weight loss, PR ethics, Steve Burton, alli, alliconnect, bad corporate blogs, david murray, debbie weil, glaxosmithkline, possible drug marketing violations

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 10:49pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Blogging for Benjamins, Corporate Communication, Marketing, Pharmaceutical Industry | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (12)

What lunatic thought this up? Teacher stages fake gunman attack

Lunacy apparently reigns at Scales Elementary School in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. On a school trip led by Assistant Principal Don Bartch, teachers staged a fake gunman attack on a class of sixth graders.

"During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose. They were told to lie on the floor or hide underneath tables and stay quiet. A teacher, disguised in a hooded sweat shirt, even pulled on a locked door.

After the lights went out, about 20 kids started to cry, 11-year-old Shay Naylor said.

"I was like, 'Oh My God,' " she said. "At first I thought I was going to die. We flipped out."

Now, maybe I'm not mainstream, but I know if my 11-year-old was the target of such a stunt, I'd be looking for heads to roll. I mean, if we are going to deny teaching credentials to people because of MySpace profiles, then the lunatics running Scales Elementary really have no business near a school. But Quentin Mastin and Don Bartch get a slap on the wrist.

Oddly (in my view), the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal editors call "Scales gun hoax bad judgment, not firing offense."

Come again? No, no... that's a firing offense.

Technorati : childhood trauma, don bartch, fake gunman, murfreesboro, parent outrage, quentin mastin, scales elementary school

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 02:28pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Education | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (9)

If that hadn't worked, she was prepared to brain it with a Moleskine

Actually, I made the Moleskine part up, but I do love stories about useful analog tool. Go paper!

Woman fights off mountain lion

By John Driscoll MediaNews A 65-year-old woman fought off a mountain lion attack in Humboldt County on Wednesday -- using a ballpoint pen to stab the animal -- and in the process probably saved the life of her 70-year-old husband.

Technorati : ballpoint pens, moleskine, mountain lions

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 05:19pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (1)

And if WikiBios wasn't tacky enough... Huggable Urns

My dear friend The Organic Goddess is good -- often too good -- at taking the pulse of low culture. Today, she sends word of Huggable Urns: pillows and teddy bears stuffed with the ashes of your dearest departed. That's right: pillows and teddy bears stuffed with the ashes of your dearest departed.

I like this model, personally. It sells for $99 (someone knows her retail pricing rules). It is 14" high and 20" around the chest, which I think should be ample for storing even my most corpulent relatives (and maybe a couple of cats, too: Huggable Urns aren't just for people!). Please note the details: the white pillow looking stuff behind the bear are actually angel's wings! And who cannot be moved by the discreet plea "Hold Me!" stitched on the paw? Isn't it just too too? I am not sure if the frame is included. But that's not a biggie, because the relative I have in mind would look better in something brushed chrome.

Technorati Tags: Huggable Urns, Organic Goddess

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 07:47pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Gadgets & Toys | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0)

WikiBios: Recipe for libel, divorce, maiming & bitter recrimination

Here's a stupid idea to end all stupid ideas.

WikiBios believes, in complete denial of the human experience, "that everyone in the world, no matter who they are, has a unique and interesting story that deserves to be told." Now, I want you to think about this. Think of your 20 nearest and dearest. As much as you love them, how many of them have an "interesting story that deserves to be told" (to the rest of the world)? If you came up with even one, your friends are remarkable or you are deluded.

WikiBios, however, believes everyone deserves a story. So it offers a wikispace where anyone can start a biography about anyone else. Here's the catch: the subject of the biography cannot edit his or her own biography:

"While we appreciate that you want to tell the world about yourself, the unique part about this project is that it gives you the opportunity to find out what makes you special in the eyes of those who care about you. Therefore, we have one basic rule of our community that we ask you to abide by. While we encourage you to edit and create new biographies for your friends, we simply ask that you do not edit your own biography and instead allow those who care about you to write about you. Trust us, it's better this way. "

Better for whom? If my friend Lee Hopkins has urges-that-shall-not-be-mentioned (and I am not for a moment saying he does, but he's a handy example), and I find that a "unique and interesting story that deserves to be told," I'm encouraged to write his biography. That Lee might have an opinion about this unauthorized biography is apparently irrelevant.

Trust me... this stupid idea will last about as long as it takes the first attorney to pick up the phone

Technorati Tags: wikibios

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:03am in Bizarre & Unexpected, In Defense of Elitism, Is Tedious in the House?, Law | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (7)

Stuart Bruce gets free coffee for a year

I guess Stuart Bruce thinks Desirable Roasted Coffee is actually a coffee company, because he's sure rushing for a free bag of beans.

Stuart stirred blood a while back in his Popular Blogs Suck - IMHO post, a response to Daniel Bernstein's laughable trial balloon that blogging in PR should be left to an elite defined by Bernstein (that Bernstein falls for the Strumpette hoax, hook-line-and-sinker, burning all his cred, is not something I'll dwell on).

Thanks, Stuart, for including DRC in the 33 top blogs on your reading list. You won't be getting a crate of coffee, sorry. But I'll try to be worthy of your list next year.

Technorati Tags: Stuart Bruce, Daniel Bernstein, Desirable Roasted Coffee

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:02pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Desirable Roasted Coffee | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2)

DRC scraped off by Mobitype

[UPDATE: This post was first titled DRC ripped off by Mobitype, a Löic Le Meur venture. At the time of the post, Löic Le Meur was listed as the chairman of Mobitype's board. In the days after this post, both Le Meur and Mobitype denied any connection, and Le Meur was removed from the board list.

Furthermore, after talks with Mobitype's CEO, I believe the scraping is not a cynical attempt at content rip off, but simply an inept effort to bring RSS to mobile devices. ]

Brother Lee Hopkins  interrupted my first Sunday coffee with this email:

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 06:54pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Blogging for Benjamins, Intellectual Property, Law, Scams | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (4)

Thai take-out can be a revolutionary experience, comrades

So last night I was at the local Thai place for take-out. I hadn't called in advance, so I had to wait. I didn't mind; they have a sort of open kitchen, and I like to watch cooks work. But the window is cut in such a way that you can only see the cooks from the neck down.

Now, most Thai restaurants have some sort of soundtrack of traditional Thai tunes going, but this one doesn't. I didn't notice that until I realized that a tune was picking its way into my brain. At first I thought it was a brain-song... you know, one of those songs you can't shake out of your head, but then I realized this wasn't in my head, but  coming from the kitchen.

It was a cook whistling.

Whistling the Internationale (.mp3), of all songs I never thought I would hear whistled in the 21st century, but there you are. And he was very good, carrying through a couple of verses before he had to stop and talk to another chef.

Well, as soon as he got done chatting, he's off again. This time, I swear, it was La Marseillaise. And I mean spirited, I mean spirited-like-in-the-bar-scene-in-Casablanca spirited.When Madeleine LeBeau sobers up and stands at attention with tears in her eyes as she belts it out.

About that time, they delivered up my order, so I didn't get to find out what he was going to pull next from the Revolutionary Songbag. I have no idea what motivated it. I don't know if it was a subtle message to management.

All power to the workers. And it was pretty good pad thai, too.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:02pm in Bizarre & Amusing, Bizarre & Unexpected, Food, Music | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2)

Yes, but everyone had to remove their shoes and prove their laptops worked...

Tunnel Found on Mexican Border

By John Pomfret

Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 27, 2006;  Page A03

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 26 -- U.S. and Mexican authorities have discovered an elaborate tunnel that stretches the length of eight football fields connecting Mexico and the United States and was apparently used for drug trafficking, authorities said Thursday.

The tunnel, unearthed Wednesday, runs from a warehouse in Tijuana and surfaces in the United States under an abandoned warehouse west of the Otay Mesa port of entry.

Now that the Mexicans found the double-secret tunnel under San Diego, it's just a matter of time before they help us find Osama.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:06am in Bizarre & Unexpected | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0)

Happy birthday to Desirable Roasted Coffee

Desirable Roasted Coffee is a year old! And I didn't even notice.

Some dates simply slip my mind. I can tell you the date I started my first company (September 17, 1990), but couldn't tell you on a bet my oldest friend's birthday (sometime in August).

So it doesn't surprise me that the first anniversary of Desirable Roasted Coffee's hard launch happened last month. Without me noticing.

The opening post (As good a reason as any), on October 7, 2004, was about a subject that is both old news and, tediously, still news.

Why is this not surprising? A 15-month study by the Bush Administration confirms what most people have come to expect, even while the top of the Administration tries to pretend otherwise: Iraq had no WMD.

The first communication post came five days later (Can Corporate Blogs be Conversations?), the complete text of which was:

Friend Shel Holtz looks at some basic philosophy underlying what I call "bandwagon blogging" -- that is, the rush by CEO's to have their very own blog.

That's probably the shortest Desirable Roasted Coffee post ever, and it's all been uphill or downhill since then, depending on your view.

Along the way, there have been a dozen or so posts I suspect I should have watered down. I can think of a dozen or so that I should have made, or should have fired up. But comments, which outnumber posts considerably, keep me pretty straight.

There's a bunch of people I wouldn't have "met" had I not started writing Desirable Roasted Coffee: Lee Hopkins, Jeremy Pepper, David Parmet, Josh Hallet, Trina-Maria Kristensen and Robert French come instantly to mind. And even though I have known Shel and Neville  and Gunnar, and Eric for years, I certainly "talk" with them more regularly because of the  blog. (At the very least, I can assure myself that, if I don't give my readers value directly, I give it to them by linking to some pretty ace communication thinkers).

So... that's it! No cake, ice cream, pappadams or champagne -- but you'll get over it. And now I'll dive into year 2.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 01:20pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Desirable Roasted Coffee, History | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (7) | TrackBack (0)

They stop the trains for Daylight Saving Time?

If any one other than Shelley Powers had posted this, I'd say I was being duped:

I called Amtrak to ask about the mysterious extra hour in the schedule, due to Daylight Savings Time ending, and the very nice lady I talked to said that the train actually does stop around 2 in the morning, and waits for time to catch up.

So at 2 in the morning, somewhere in the badlands of North DakotaMinnesota, a lone train will slow and then stop–sitting for an hour on the tracks among the scrub and coyotes, the starry night and the cold, bitter wind.

The Daylight Saving Time trivia website agrees:

To keep to their published timetables, trains cannot leave a station before the scheduled time. So, when the clocks fall back one hour in October, all Amtrak trains in the U.S. that are running on time stop at 2:00 a.m. and wait one hour before resuming. Overnight passengers are often surprised to find their train at a dead stop and their travel time an hour longer than expected. At the spring Daylight Saving Time change, trains instantaneously become an hour behind schedule at 2:00 a.m., but they just keep going and do their best to make up the time.

Anyone who's ridden Amtrak more than a few miles knows "doing their best to make up the time" is pretty much a 24/7/365  challenge for them. I suspect the "stopping for an hour" exercise is designed so they can be on time at least once a year.  But I love trains, and Amtrak does give discounts to veterans, and so they deserve as much public support as they can muster.

Technorati tags:
Amtrak
Daylight Saving Time
Daylight Savings Time

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 11:29am in Bizarre & Unexpected, Travel | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0)

Google's Little Mysteries

How Google works is a mystery to me.

In April, I noted that Desirable Roasted Coffee was suddenly the first landing page for anyone searching Google for John Constable's painting Hampstead Heath:

"For a week or so now, I've noticed 15 to 30 readers a day coming by Desirable Roasted Coffee looking for information about John Constable's glorious painting "Hampstead Heath". Puzzling, because Desirable Roasted Coffee is the last place to come looking for English Romantic landscapes.

"However, I did post a brief aside months ago about John Ruskin and J.M.W. Turner, in which I linked to Constable's painting.

"Today, however, I had more time to investigate. I found a Google Images search for "Constable Hampstead Heath" brings up 28 results, the first of which directly links to Desirable Roasted Coffee. But, and here's the odd thing, it doesn't even link to the Ruskin-Turner story (which, anyway, didn't show the image; it only linked to it)."

Sometime in June, this phenomenon vanished. No explanation.

Today, I noticed a raft of new traffic coming from Google searches. Investigation revealed that when I  search Google for "anyones blog" ,  Desirable Roasted Coffee rolls in at number 5 of 17.4 million.

Pisses me off, frankly. We don't let just anyone in, you know.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 06:38pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Taxonomy of Cyberspace | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (1) | TrackBack (0)

Protesting words

Language Log tips me off to a disturbing idea: lobbying dictionaries to remove words that offend your interest group.

British potato farmers want 'couch potato' removed from the OED, according to The Times, the AP and others. Farmers, flacks and a celebrity chef demonstrated outside Parliament yesterday, in what may be the first such protest in the annals of lexicographic politics.

 

"The potato industry are fed up with the disservice that 'couch potato' does to our product when we have an inherently healthy product," said Kathryn Race, head of marketing at the British Potato Council, a body set up by the government to run advertising campaigns promoting potato consumption and research issues linked to the vegetable.

This is also why Americans insist upon saying canola oil instead of rapeseed oil.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 12:43pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Logophilia | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0)

When Google Page Rankings Go Amok

For a week or so now, I've noticed 15 to 30 readers a day coming by Desirable Roasted Coffee looking for information about John Constable's glorious painting "Hampstead Heath". Puzzling, because Desirable Roasted Coffee is the last place to come looking for English Romantic landscapes.

However, I did post a brief aside months ago about John Ruskin and J.M.W. Turner, in which I linked to Constable's painting. Not having time to look into my new readership, I assumed someone else referenced it in a blog or a website. Odd, but ok! These things happen.

Today, however, I had more time to investigate. I found a Google Images search for "Constable Hampstead Heath" brings up 28 results, the first of which directly links to Desirable Roasted Coffee. But, and here's the odd thing, it doesn't even link to the Ruskin-Turner story (which, anyway, didn't show the image; it only linked to it). I'm not going to make things worse by linking to it here, but try it for yourself.

If any reader can explain this, feel free to comment.

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 05:11pm in Art, Bizarre & Unexpected | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0)

419 Spam with a Twist

Ethan Zuckerman, like all of us, receives "419 scam" or "Nigerian scam" letters from time to time. You know, the "we need to get 22 million dollars out of the National Bank, but need your help. We will offer you a percentage for your good will....." offers.

(And here I will just say that I believe 419 scam letters to be a woefully underappreciated species of rhetoric. English grad students and Ph.D. candidates should take note.)

Unlike most of us, though, Ethan was able to give the scammer good news! I so do like when a tale of sadness turns out ok in the end.

Via Ethan Zuckerman's ...My heart's in Accra blog

Posted by Allan Jenkins at 01:14pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Scams | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (1) | TrackBack (0)