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June 11, 2008Atlanta's Terminal E: "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour."
Well, if the theory holds, arriving in Atlanta's Terminal E is very, very good for you. Now, I don't want to be churlish about air travel: with luck, I can leave Copenhagen at mid-day and be in my beloved South in time for dinner. But Atlanta Hartsfield airport seems determined to say: we are going to make you regret arriving here. Upon arrival at Terminal E, you are sent through the usual immigration/bag collection/customs witlessness ("Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "Well, I live abroad." "Did you purchase anything abroad, sir?" "You mean, besides my house and everything I own? No..." "Welcome to the USA, sir, and excuse the fact I am a moron."). In every other airport, this exchange would signal your liberation. Not so at Atlanta Terminal E: it signals purgatory. Because now, after collecting your bags and getting them through customs, you are forced to give them up again. That's right... you must recheck your bags, and you will be given no receipt for them. And you won't be told where to pick them up -- 1.5 miles (2.4 km) away -- you will need to suss that out for yourself. While your bags are on their way elsewhere, you will stand in yet another line and subject yourself to a full security inspection. Just as if you are about to board an airplane, instead of leave an airport. You will show your documents, you will take off your shoes, you will show that your laptop works (and woe betide the lamer who depletes his battery working on the plane). While in line for "inspection" I muttered "This sure puts a new twist on baggage claim." To which the traveler in front of me responded, "Jesus Christ himself couldn't get his bags in less than an hour in Atlanta Hartsfield." When you do get through security, you will need to travel 1.5 miles by train to the 2nd baggage claim. If you are lucky, your bag will arrive when you do. If it arrives before you do, there's every chance you will never see it again... the 2nd baggage claim is open to the street, and can be (and is) entered by anyone with sticky fingers and a waiting car. Welcome to Atlanta. Technorati Tags:
atlanta, airport, hartsfield, concourse e, security, arrivls
Posted by Allan Jenkins at 04:10pm in Bizarre & Unexpected, Is Tedious in the House?, Travel | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) | TrackBack (0) February 20, 2008Wacky CNN bosses fire producer for blogging
Chez Pazienza is a writer, an award-winning television news producer Not for long, I bet. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 01:33pm in Bizarre but Expected, Career management, Is Tedious in the House?, Journalism | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0) January 23, 2008The 'Random, Desperate Filler in a Celebrity Obituary Award' goes to...
... the New York Times, in its story about Heath Ledger: "Others in the crowd said their first reaction to word of his death was disbelief. Nicole Vaughan, 24, a law student at New York University, was in a seminar about Jesus when someone sent her a message about Mr. Ledger. She checked the Web, then walked to the apartment "because of the way our generation is; we sort of feel we're a part of each other's lives." Huh? How did Jesus get in there? Other than when the page editor shouted "Jesus, I need another column inch.... put in that pointless 'what our generation is' quote." Posted by Allan Jenkins at 08:09am in Current Affairs, Is Tedious in the House?, Journalism | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (5) | TrackBack (0) July 24, 2007Monocle offers ludicrous list of world's most liveable cities
Warning: this post is a rant, so if you aren't in the mood, move on. In a flurry of optimism, I recently bought a copy of Monocle, one of those magazines that shows up just as the economy is overheating (memo to self: new magazines = move assets to cash). And what a great investment that was: for just $10, I bought enough vapid writing & bad layout to last a lifetime. Straight to recycling the next day. So I shuddered with doubt when PSFK, one of the best blogs around for following new trends, reffed Monocle in 20 Most Liveable Cities. I was sure PSFK was making a mistake, and I was dead right. Here's the list and Monocle's brave attempts at justifying each placement. 01- Munich: Munich emerged as Monocle's most liveable city in the world. Perfect work-life balance, great green spaces; all around pleasant place to be. 02- Copenhagen: The city's slogan says it all: "There's something modern in the state of Denmark". Indeed, the city is a veritable maelstrom of creative activity and youthful dynamism. One of several beacons in the North. I live here and have never heard that slogan, but never mind. In this "veritable maelstrom", it's possible to walk into a Michelin star restaurant on a weeknight, without a reservation, and be seated. That's how happening it is. 03- Zürich: In Zürich, small and perfectly formed has turned out to be both a blessing and a curse. 04- Tokyo: Integrated transport, breathtaking technology, great service and the best bars make this our top big city. 05- Vienna: Vienna is back at the heart of Europe - its well-connected airline helped put it in fifth place.Vienna has always been at the heart of Europe... look at a damned map. And Austrian Airlines has always been dreadful... why on earth Niki Lauda sold his fine airline to them is beyond me. 06- Helsinki: The fastest flying times from Europe to Asia's hubs make Helsinki more than Nokia-town. Somehow, being able to make a fast escape doesn't say much for Helsinki... 07- Sidney: The city has some environmental issues and an antiquated transport system. But then there's the beach…And then there's Sydney. 08- Stockholm: An eye for detail, good street style and strong public services make this a pleasant place to build a nest. 09- Honolulu: The city has the luxury of sitting on Asia's doorstep. This is great news but it needs to put it to use. Admiral Nimitz would agree, but anyone else? Doorstep? 10- Madrid: Red tape and poor infrastructure are counterbalanced by cultural vibrancy and a 24-hour lifestyle. Sort of like Nairobi. 11- Melbourne: The city scores every time for sport and culture. Just pack an umbrella. Just matchmaking....but maybe Sidney should introduce Melbourne to Vancouver? 12- Montreal: A laid-back bilingual city where the good life comes at a bargain price. 13- Barcelona: Cradled by the sea and mountains and rocked by crime and grime. Well, so is Lagos. Is there some sort of hidden Euro-centric agenda here? 14- Kyoto: Low-rise, high style: the city mixes the best of modernity and tradition. 15- Vancouver: Well-connected and wealthy, just make sure you like talking sport. I dated Vancouver once... her parents didn't approve, though, and field hockey was unkind to her legs.... 16- Auckland: Great setting, Polynesian culture and an improved transport system.And they are getting another new bus next year! 17- Singapore: It's still conservative but this city state is enjoying a cultural boom. 18- Hamburg: The ship's come in for this port city with ambitious growth plans. 19- Paris: It rains, dogs foul the street, there's little green space but the city works.As it has for more than a thousand years. But thanks for the update. 20- Geneva: It may have a Latin beat but what really makes Geneva tick is cash. How helpful. I'll load the iPod with Xavier Cugat. I've been fortunate enough to visit 13 of these cities (some of them dozens of times), and live in two, and I'll be the first to say every one of them deserves to be on this list. Not one of them deserves the "just look it up on Wikipedia and write something; we have stock photos already" treatment given them by Monocole. No points to PSFK for retailing this crap. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 07:13pm in Is Tedious in the House?, Travel | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (0) | TrackBack (0) July 18, 2007Social media: now depressingly mainstream
You know social media is depressingly mainstream when a) you outsource your social media self "Imagine a man whose entire life revolves around social networking. It occupies all his business and personal time and keeps him so busy that he struggles to keep up with the constant messages, blog posts and photos. So busy, in fact, that he now pays someone to be him online." and b) your university uses Facebook to nab you. "IT has become as much a part of student life as hangovers and essay crises. But now Facebook, the social networking website, is being used as a disciplinary tool by university authorities. Staff at Oxford University are searching the website, collecting photographs of students who they say have broken rules on post-examination celebrations, and handing down fines." Or am I just being retro? Well, I write my own stuff, albeit badly, and my Facebook profile is squeaky clean. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 11:49am in Bizarre but Expected, Is Tedious in the House?, Online Media | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (4) | TrackBack (0) May 02, 2007Pentagon to troops: don't blog and don't email
Virginia Postrel writes on her Dynamist blog: "The geniuses in the Pentagon have decided that soldiers shouldn't be allowed to send emails or post to blogs without clearing the content with a superior officer." I'm glad I served in the US Navy. I used to say "the government got some cheap labor, I learned to type at 75 wpm and read punched tape like I was reading a book. We both got a good deal." But I got a lot more out of it than that, and I hope I contributed a little, too. But the chickenshit -- that's the only word for it, as social critic Paul Fussell has pointed out -- of the military is unbelievable. I once failed a room inspection and was written up because I had an "Iranian" flag hanging over my bed. That it was actually the flag of South Carolina made no difference. Once on report, you are on report until the captain (in this case, a Carolinian, thankfully) can pass judgment. So it surprises me not a bit that the Pentagon shuts off blogging and emailing from the war zone. The reason given is operational security, but I think we can dismiss that. The enemy in Iraq -- and who is that, these days? -- is angry, cunning and ruthless, but I doubt he is monitoring blogs (if he is, though, it puts him ahead of most companies). No, what the Pentagon wants to cut off is debate. Cut off criticism. Cut off discussion. Chickenshit. That's not going to work. Today's sailors, marines, soldiers and airmen are an educated lot. They know they are citizens first, soldiers second. And I suspect they are not going to be easily shut up if they want to speak out. Oh, they will obey orders -- you take an oath to do that, if the order is legal. But wait until they come home on leave... or get to a phone... or get rotated home. Word will get out. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 11:47pm in Citizen Journalism, Iraq War, Is Tedious in the House? | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) February 21, 2007Dee Rambeau: blogging is useless and irresponsible
Dee Rambeau, communicator and entrepreneur, has quit blogging. In posts at Adventures in Business Communications and the Auburn University Marcom Blog, he throws in the towel, calling blogging "futile and pedestrian" for him, "negative" for business in general, and "useless and irresponsible" for public corporations. Harsh words, sure to grate on the ears of blogging evangelists. At Adventures in Business Communications, Dee analyzes why he is "done blogging." The chief reasonable reason seems to be that blogging is not a good use of his time as an entrepreneur in a B2B business run by three partners. His business' scarce resource is time; he knows time is best spent on supporting employees and customers, maintaining sales growth, operating efficiently, promoting the brand, and selling. He believes his blogging doesn't help his business and occupies too much of his professional and free time. Fair enough: Dee is allocating his time as he sees fit -- and blogging doesn't fit. But he can't stop there. In both posts, he goes on to rant that "blogs are just websites" -- then again, he's a CMS vendor -- and that blogging "largely an exercise of EGO." I've snipped the following from the middle of a Faulkneresque paragraph: "the reason most bloggers actually start and continue blogging. Because of their egos. Because they believe that they have something really relevant to say…something totally unique…something that someone will want to hear…will strain to hear. Is it true? Of course not. The reason that it was difficult to get published or get on the air in the old days was because you had people judging content…judging talent…filtering just who had access to the microphone or the pen…deciding who actually had something relevant to say. Since the Internet and modern blog tools allow for anyone to publish content, there are no filters. Which means that 99.9 % of the stuff that is written on blogs is bullshit…sure there are individual content creators that will rise to the top…but it's actually MORE difficult now than it was before to have an authentic voice because everyone can be published. Because of this phenomenon, business bloggers are among the most rabid of the blog class second only to political bloggers. Business bloggers NEED to be measured…ranked somehow. They need to feel that they're speaking to someone out there and making a difference. See back to #1…there are only a handful of ways to make money with a blog, so how can you actually call it "business blogging?" Business bloggers clamor to share links…clamor to post on one another's blogs to create consensus around ideas and memes…choose sides and shoot barbs at the heathens opposing them. I'm guilty…I've done it. Think about the fact that business bloggers started out as smart business people (well some did…) and they're fighting for a reputation and a ranking online. So not only are they prospecting and selling and doing all the things they need to do to build and maintain their business on a day to day basis, but NOW they're also forced to compete in the blogosphere. Why? Ego." I'll let you in on a dirty little secret. The only reason you, I, anyone ever expresses themselves is because they believe they have something relevant to say. Remember that the next time you open your mouth to speak to your spouse, or write an email to a colleague, or place an order at Burger King. Dee would have you check your ego before telling your husband that the dog has set itself on fire again, but, trust me, go ahead and express yourself. Yes, the vast majority of the world will not care. But they aren't your audience. Your audience will be listening. And this is true whether you are a newspaper columnist, an American Idol wannabe, George Bush, or a blogger. Is it egotistical to believe you have something relevant to say? At some basic level, yes, it must be. But we all express ourselves, anyway. Perhaps the other people in the room wish we would do the selfless thing and just shut up, but human discourse is pretty much about conversation. About having an idea, having the ego (arrogance?) to think it relevant, expressing it and -- and this is critical -- listening to the responses of the other egotists around you. That's how we get on in life. Rambeau goes on to tell the PR students at Auburn University's Marcom Blog: 1. Public Corporations: blogs are useless and irresponsible. No Corporate Communications person in their right mind would allow a C-level executive to blog. The Jonathan Schwartz's of the World aside, it is not a sensible PR move to allow a top executive to share his thoughts in Cyberspace. That's simply the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard. Let's leave aside the fantasy of a corporate communicator deciding what the CEO will be "allowed" to do. If none of the CEOs of the Fortune 1000 can be trusted to communicate to the public without being first filtered by corporate communication, then corporate America is in serious trouble. Yes, some CEOs are lousy communicators -- and these are precisely the ones who are too often shielded by officious corp-com drones and PR agencies. Some CEOs are brilliant communicators -- and these will (without the permission of corporate communications, mind you) use any tool in the box to communicate with the public. And may their tribe increase! 2. Private Companies: blogs can help with SEO (search engine optimization) for product lines, thought leadership, and other things. But if content management systems have advanced to the degree that they have, why do you need a "blog" to say what you want to say. Just use your freakin' website to do it. A site is a site is a site. It doesn't matter if you call it a website or a blog, the fact that the communicators now have control of it is what is important. Set your website up to have the ability for you to make content additions/changes right away. Offer up social tools such as comments, sharing, etc. and voila…you have a website with blog capabilities…who needs a blog? And later: blogging is just this: posting content to the web using a content management system. If the company that you end up working for or represent has a good CMS for their website that the PR team can control, what's the point of having a blog? Put your issues, mission, opinions, etc. right there on the website. So if you want to blog personally…blog away! Professionally it is useless. You'd expect that from a vendor of CMS software, so we will forgive that part. But Rambeau forgets that companies do not communicate. Websites do not communicate. People communicate. Is a blog the best way for the leaders of a company to communicate with the public? Maybe; maybe not. Again, the savvy communicator will use any tool in the box. Who knows? Dee may be motivated entirely by a jaded view of communication. And maybe his rant is meant to be a wake-up call to social media thinkers. But you know what I think the real motivator is? It's here, buried in his post at Adventures in Business Communication (emphasis mine): I was trained in the investment business early in my business career. We used to joke that when a company or an industry or a topic finally hit the cover of Time, you'd better be long, fucking gone from an investment perspective. The smart money was already OUT! So Time elects us all…the collective populous of bloggers and content providers to be the Man of the Year. The contrarian in me is aching to be outta here to the next thing...I will be focusing on the ongoing value proposition of my company's software to our clients. (By the way…we could have created a blogging platform 4-5 years ago…but when there are other companies giving it away for free…where's the revenue model?). Posted by Allan Jenkins at 08:48am in Communication, Is Tedious in the House? | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (12) November 17, 2006I wonder how UCLA is going to cover this PR problem?
UCLA student gets tasered for not carrying his university ID... then the cops threaten to taser other students who ask for their badge numbers. On YouTube. But watch it on an empty stomach. You'll watch the cops taser him once -- this can render the victim powerless to walk for 5 to 15 minutes -- then taser him a few more times for not getting up. There's no doubt the guy was a loudmouth. But seeing him get tasered over and over during a six minute period has got to give you pause for thought. For not having an ID card in the college library? I'm sure that's a major security risk right up there with checking the containers at Long Beach. Via Declan at Politech, whose article says in part (about taser-happy cops): "They have been used against unruly schoolchildren... and people who
I'll just note here for the record that any cop who tasered my daughter would have to be packing a lot more heat when I caught up with him. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:55pm in Civil Liberty, Is Tedious in the House?, Law | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (3) July 05, 2006WikiBios: Recipe for libel, divorce, maiming & bitter recrimination
Here's a stupid idea to end all stupid ideas. WikiBios believes, in complete denial of the human experience, "that everyone in the world, no matter who they are, has a unique and interesting story that deserves to be told." Now, I want you to think about this. Think of your 20 nearest and dearest. As much as you love them, how many of them have an "interesting story that deserves to be told" (to the rest of the world)? If you came up with even one, your friends are remarkable or you are deluded. WikiBios, however, believes everyone deserves a story. So it offers a wikispace where anyone can start a biography about anyone else. Here's the catch: the subject of the biography cannot edit his or her own biography: "While we appreciate that you want to tell the world about yourself, the unique part about this project is that it gives you the opportunity to find out what makes you special in the eyes of those who care about you. Therefore, we have one basic rule of our community that we ask you to abide by. While we encourage you to edit and create new biographies for your friends, we simply ask that you do not edit your own biography and instead allow those who care about you to write about you. Trust us, it's better this
way. " Better for whom? If my friend Lee Hopkins has urges-that-shall-not-be-mentioned (and I am not for a moment saying he does, but he's a handy example), and I find that a "unique and interesting story that deserves to be told," I'm encouraged to write his biography. That Lee might have an opinion about this unauthorized biography is apparently irrelevant. Trust me... this stupid idea will last about as long as it takes the first attorney to pick up the phone Technorati Tags: wikibios Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:03am in Bizarre & Unexpected, In Defense of Elitism, Is Tedious in the House?, Law | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (7) July 03, 2006Marshmallow Fluff should be banned from school tables
Scott Baradell, at Media Orchard, points us to the Fluffernutter Flap, without revealing his take on it. One suspects he's sort of sweet on the lamentable outcome of the flap, but I'll let him reveal that. I'm not afraid to reveal my take, however. Scott quotes the Boston Globe: Jonathan Durkee has two words for [Massachusetts] state Senator Jarrett Barrios: Thank you. A couple of quick points: 1) Durkee is not only treasurer, but an owner of the Durkee-Mower Company that makes the stuff. The Globe should have mentioned that. 2) Barrios is not trying to ban your feeding your kids this stuff, if that is your desire. He just wants school lunchrooms stopped from dropping the sugar-bombs ("I'm not sure we should we should even be calling it a food.") on
helpless targets. The Globe should have mentioned that, too. Who's the winner here? Not the 23% of Americans who are obese. Some PR practitioners may chortle over Fluff's windfall success -- after all, the company is shipping 8 times the stuff. But the chortles are where PR oldtimers buy the profession the disdain of the people. You see, Marshmallow Fluff is crap. Well, no, not crap but "corn syrup, sugar syrup, vanilla flavor, and egg white" -- please just imagine what these ingredients look like in industrial vats -- whipped into a froth,
then pumped into containers. The stuff is so unstable the company cannot even provide a "Use Before" date -- it varies from "six months to one year" according to the company FAQ (So why don't they answer that one on the container, if it's an FAQ?). There's no reason -- none in the world -- why this crap should be slathered on sandwiches and forced on children in school lunchrooms. Sugars, fats -- junk food -- are the everyday fare on American children's lunch tables. I know: I once had to eat the stuff. Fried and sweet come to mind most frequently. They could have just served us fried sugar and been done with it. And, no, this has nothing to do with having to serve many cheap meals in a short time. I was in the US Navy, which
also serves great quantities of food: bland and boring, to be sure, but nutritious and balanced. Is political hay being made? Barrios is a Massachusetts Democrat, a label that causes eyes to roll across the American "Heartland." But he's not alone. This week's edition of The Economist discusses the efforts of Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, a Republican (in fact, a former head of the Republican National Committee) to reduce obesity in his state. Why would he bother? Because almost 65% of Mississippians
are obese or overweight. Because obesity -- caused by cradle to early-grave consumption of fats and sweets -- is killing the state's workforce, raising its healthcare costs, and diverting funds from education, infrastructure, you name it. Scott Baradell was careful not to reveal his views, but if I were Marshmallow Fluff's PR agency, I'd be circling the wagons (actually, I'd be resigning the account, embarrassed to have taken it in the first place). Helping companies make your kids fatter and sugar powered -- is that really a business you want to be in? Posted by Allan Jenkins at 03:23pm in Advertising, Healthcare, Is Tedious in the House?, Politics | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (8) April 06, 2006We are all nobodies, now
[Like Homer Simpson, Andrea Weckerle, Eric Eggertson, and Ike Piggott.... I am a nobody. Here is my sad tale...] I've always known I was a nobody. I was firmly told this by my seatmate in first grade, and told most recently by the neighbor's dog, who always runs past me as if I am invisible (what? I don't even rate a crotch sniff?). But it's never been in print. That's changed. In next month's Journal of Employee Communication Management, editor David Murray writes that I am a "nobody in communication" -- a "rude" nobody, at that -- and that I keep harping that social media is the "Next Big Thing" in corporate communication, without ever proving the point. The Ragan equivalent of a crotch sniff, I guess. [Note: the following paragraph, in its original form, gave great offense to Steve Crescenzo. I have edited the paragraph to remove the offending passage, and apologize unreservedly to Crescenzo.] Now, I stopped reading JECM in 1997, when Steve Crescenzo offended many of us at an IABC dinner party, and then went on to gloat about it in JECM. I stopped reading JECM on the spot and it hasn't been a career stopper. Yet, when you are called a "nobody", even by a Ragan publication, you have to stir yourself a little; you sigh "ok....alright..." Murray says, "I'm looking for the First Big Thing in Internal Communication in Quite a While.... I'm being told by people like Jenkins ... that social media is It, and that my problem is I can't get my head around it." He goes on to ask, "Is social media The Next Big Thing in our business?"
No, David, it is not the "Next Big Thing." And I have never told you that. Neither have other "nobodies": Holtz, Hobson, Hopkins, Pepper, Gahran, French, Hallett, Weckerle, Wagner, Eggertson, Bickford, Manuel, Albrycht, Gomes, Papacosta, Goldhammer... If you read us carefully -- if you read us at all -- you'll find we all say something like "Social media is changing internal communication" and "Social media will change internal communication in ways that neither management, staff, or us can fully understand and predict... so let's talk about it." None of us foresees revolution, upheaval or a New World Order. But social media does move internal communication: Now, none of this is revolutionary. It creeps in, slowly, and we must all adjust. And it will keep happening. 25 years ago, I got a letter of appreciation from my commanding officer, when I was in US Navy Intelligence, for sending a 100-page fax (we called them "Da-coms" back then, not faxes) in a 12-hour watch... this had never been done before. Today, we grin when we see a fax number on a business card... how 'yesterday'... but are you going to tell me that the fax wasn't important to employee communication? Some of us are talking about it -- more often, we ask about it. You're welcome to join in, David, if you want. But since you are -- how to put it? a nobody on the Ragan payroll -- you'll have to come out and play. Will Mark Ragan let you?
Technorati Tags:
david murray, ragan communication Posted by Allan Jenkins at 11:43am in Is Tedious in the House? | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (14) March 24, 2006Fairly frightening what a committee can invent
About 10 years ago, I led the agency team responsible for rebranding Denmark as a tourist destination for UK and Irish folks. We did tons of research, lots of interviews, shook the databases, and realized --- whoa. We don't have fjords (problem, because we competed with Norway) or tulips (damn the Dutch). We did find, though, that people that had been to Denmark, and who were recommending it, were emphasizing the friendliness of the people, the easy life, the smiling faces. We went with that and helped increase tourism to Denmark from the UK by 11% in one year. Just pointing it out to the Washington State, USA, tourist board because -- after this lunker of a campaign -- you're going to need help. My team's ready. Tanned and rested. Because we did NOT go to Washington this year. (The following is lifted hook, line, and sinker from Media Orchard... Scott, don't sue me!) The slogan, 18 months in development ... was chosen with input from
a 32-member "brand development task force," that included Chamber of Commerce
directors, tourism officials and business representatives from around the
state. The result? The old slogan, "Experience Washington," has
been replaced by: "SayWA."
18 months. 32 people. SayWA? Best line from the Times
story -- "Thirty-five years ago I smoked dope and probably could have come up
with something like that," said Darrell Bryan, general manager of Victoria
Clipper, the largest tour operator in the Northwest. (Image from
KOMO-TV) Posted by Allan Jenkins at 01:36am in Advertising, Is Tedious in the House?, Travel | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (3) March 02, 2006Short update on the Sprint Ambassador diplomatic crisis
Still no reply to my email to "Bob" (you will remember I had to assign him a name) at Sprint. I do hope he will reply in such a way that I can restore diplomatic relations with Sprint and say "ok, we're friends again!" In the meantime, the estimable Mike Sansone at Copywriting Watch makes his own suggestion to Sprint on my behalf. It's lovely, and I wish I'd thought of it. And if Sprint takes him up on it, I will sing their praises to high heaven. That's what it's about, everyone (and I mean everyone!): market ethically (don't spam), but if you do mess up, apologize! And over deliver to your victim! It's an easy thing, and we have all seen it work a thousand times. Unfortunately, we still see it too little. So, Bob at Sprint Ambassador Team. If you take up Mike's suggestion, I will choose three of my friends back in the United States, all of whom could have stepped out of the pages of The Tipping Point, and you can make them ambassadors. I'll be happy, they will (that is, if you over deliver) be happy, and you will be happy. It's win-win-win for us all! Also, I've sent an email to Lori Joseph, a senior communicator at Sprint, prominent IABC leader, and former colleague of mine on IABC's board of directors. Since she's all about good corporate communication and marketing ethics -- and knows how to get things done -- I am sure all of this will be speedily and happily resolved. Technorati: Sprint, sprint ambassador, mike sansone, Copywriting Watch, diplomatic immunity, lame pitches Posted by Allan Jenkins at 02:14pm in Bizarre & Amusing, Communication, Ethics, Is Tedious in the House?, Marketing, Public Relations | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (3) Desirable Roasted Coffee breaks diplomatic relations with Sprint Ambassador Team
The Sprint Ambassador program got around to me today, which I guess ranks me about like Niger or Mali on their diplomatic list. I mean, they got to Rubel (France?) and Jarvis (NATO?) months ago, and we all know those big portfolios go fast. And I am sure when they first started handing out portfolios, they did it nicely. Personally. With finesse. But we low life get spam. Oh, yes. And no love. Here's the sordid tale we third-worlders tell over stale canapés down at the chancery while we watch the jackals circle the sickly hippo. This afternoon I received this dispatch: The Sprint Ambassador Team recently visited Allanjenkins.typepad.com and wants to invite you to participate in our Ambassador Program.
The Sprint Ambassador Program is all about exploring our latest products and services and allows you to give direct feedback to Sprint. We recently launched the Sprint Power Vision (SM) Network and want to provide you with the full experience, at no charge. Sprint Power Vision Network enables customers to download data at faster speeds and experience new data products.
So what?s the deal?
As a qualified participant, we will send you one Sprint Power Vision phone and provide you with six months of all-access service (at no charge). You?ll have access to the Sprint Music Store(SM) live TV broadcasts, gaming and more. Yes, you will also have unlimited free calling and data service. It?s a pretty good deal and all we ask for in return is your candid feedback (you decide how much and how often).
We look forward to receiving your registration!
The Sprint Ambassador Team Look past, if you can, the banal prose that should flunk any college freshman. That's not important. What is important:
Not wanting to be appointed to an ambassadorship for which I am patently unqualified, I shot off this cable: And I am happy that it's led to a Sprint Ambassador invitation.
Unfortunately, you didn't actually read the blog did you? Tell the truth!
Because if you had, you'd know two things:
1) I eat PR spammers who try to ingratiate themselves by saying they read my blog for breakfast (Don't believe me? Go here for a taste: http://allanjenkins.typepad.com/my_weblog/2005/11/bacons_informat.html )
2) I live in Copenhagen, Denmark -- any fool who had read the blog would know that. Clearly, I'm not in your customer catchment area.
No, Sprinters, you vacuumed up my address, and probably thousands of others, and spammed me.
Very, very stupid move. Just ask the folks at Bacon's. Ok, Ok... a little rough around the edges, but since I never had diplomatic relations with them before now, what am I to do?
Sprint Ambassador Team, being nothing if not fleet, replied quickly with a terse note (uh, oh, I think that's bad):
This is not spam. We had noticed your interest in innovation and interactive technology and decided to extend an invitation to you.
Thank you,
The Sprint Ambassador Team This is why diplomatic relations collapse. This is why countries go to war. When bullheaded "we automatons are going to give him a phone whether he can use it or not" meets "uhm, I'm not your target group, so why do you keep me in your sights?"
I issued the following demarche:
John? Christy? Jorgé? Bob? Charmaine? Hell, just choose one.
Let's assume "Bob" until I am corrected.
Bob... the Cluetrain Manifesto says let your people come out and talk to us possible customers. Don't hide behind some sort of "team".
Ok. Now let's go back to the start:
You did not read my blog, Bob. Admit it. If you had, you'd know I was the wrong person to approach for two reasons:
1) I hate being pitched by anonymous pitchers who think they are hip because they have sold "bloggers" as a target group to their boss.
2) I live -- hello? -- 4000 miles from your nearest outpost. Send me the damned phone, but be aware I can only use it as a paperweight.
And, Bob... it was, and is, spam.
Do you really want me to be Sprint's ambassador? Well.... I could easily be. Not every ambassador is exactly what the foreign ministry had in mind. I hope -- I most certainly hope -- Rubel and anyone else who grabbed this "deal" a few months ago were wined and wooed by Sprint. Because if they fell for this piece of hucksterism, then they sure aren't the gurus some think they are. Jarvis took them to task pretty fast.
Me? I've sent out the gunboats. I break all diplomatic relations with Sprint.
Technorati: diplomatic immunity, jeff jarvis, sprint ambassador, steve rubel, lame pitches, micropersuasion Posted by Allan Jenkins at 12:07am in Bizarre & Amusing, Communication Skills, Is Tedious in the House?, Public Relations, Scams | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) February 02, 2006What does the Denmark vs. Islam story teach us?
What started as an example of appallingly poor judgment by a provincial Danish newspaper has become multipolar diplomatic crisis. Go figure. The story thus far: * back in September, the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten ran a feature that included satirical cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. That was a serious breach of good manners, since the editors of the paper knew that Islam considers it blasphemy to create images of Mohammad. * Muslims, both in Denmark and abroad, complained. The ambassadors of several Muslim countries called on the Danish Prime Minister to "do something" about the newspaper. Rightly, he replied that they would just have to suck it up -- in democracies, governments don't interfere with newspapers. * the situation has escalated weekly since then. The latest: boycotts of Danish goods across the Muslim world, fatwas, death threats, more calls to punish the newspaper, burning of Danish flags in the Gaza Strip (that's a new one). * in response (the high minded call it solidarity, the cynical call it circulation-building) papers across Europe have been reprinting the cartoons this week, resulting in even more fatwas, flag burnings, death threats, etc. What's to learn from all this? One obvious lesson, one that most learn by age 6, is that it is rude to mock other people's religious beliefs. It insults them, and that's just not nice. Another obvious lesson, usually learned about the same time, is that some people are too easily insulted. Yes, any one of us would feel hurt to see a cherished belief demeaned, but the faith of the faithful is only strengthened by the brickbats hurled by the uncomprehending ( so I am told -- I'm a happy secular humanist). A more appropriate response than flag burning and beatings is "Oooooo K... last laugh's gonna be on you, brother!" But the other lessons... what are they? What do communicators need to think about in a world where an article in an obscure newspaper calls down boycotts on your company? When a controversy like this can leave employees pulled in several directions: loyalty to religious faith, a desire to do a good job, a desire not to be beaten at the factory gates. And make no mistake: the controversy is pulling Danish business leaders in several directions, too. While none have called for out and out curbing of press freedom, there have been some hints. Should managers put profit over principle? Should governments curb freedom of speech so business can go on "gettin' it done"? Do we sack the religious faithful, uncertain of their loyalty? Do we sack the religious faithful because it's safer for them if we do? Do we try to dissemble, saying "Our HQ might be in Denmark (France, USA, Japan) but we are not really Danish (French, American, Japanese), so don't blame us"? As globalization progresses (a good thing, I believe), these incidents will become commonplace. Professional communicators need to be considering strategies now... before it comes to their town. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 07:55pm in Bizarre but Expected, Civil Liberty, Current Affairs, Denmark, Is Tedious in the House?, Journalism, Society | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (15) November 15, 2005Sony faces another class action
While still clueless, Sony has enough money to fend off lots of lawsuits. Still, it's nice to see lawyers lining up to do what they do best. Here's a snippet from Brian Krebs' post from WaPo: Sony BMG is facing yet another class-action lawsuit stemming from the controversy over its anti-piracy software, this time from a New York attorney who filed a federal case that could potentially include consumers in all 50 states. Krebs links to filings for both the California and the New York suits (PDFs).
Technorati tags: Posted by Allan Jenkins at 06:56am in Business, Intellectual Property, Is Tedious in the House?, Marketing, Music | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) | TrackBack (0) November 11, 2005Doctorow rips into Sony's EULA; Symantec finds Sony worm vulnerability...
Update 13 November 2005: Eric Eggertson is following this outrage pretty closely... I'd quote some of his stuff, but I would swear violently, and I don't like to do that on Sundays. Just go read. Is Sony Music winning this week's Bacon's Information Cluelessness Award? It would appear so. Cory Doctorow uses his bully BoingBoing pulpit to tear apart Sony Music's EULA. Sony's EULA is worse than their rootkit
1. If your house gets burgled, you have to delete all
your music from your laptop when you get home. That's because the EULA
says that your rights to any copies terminate as soon as you no longer
possess the original CD.
2. You can't keep your music on any computers at work.
The EULA only gives you the right to put copies on a "personal home
computer system owned by you."
3. If you move out of the country, you have to delete
all your music. The EULA specifically forbids "export" outside the
country where you reside.... There's plenty more. Still considering buying Sony CDs. Then ponder this from today's Boston Globe: Computer Worm Exploits Software on Sony's CDs People who bought music CDs from Sony BMG Music Entertainment may have exposed themselves to a dangerous new computer worm. Symantec Corp.,
the leading maker of antivirus software, said the worm has infected
computers that played Sony BMG recordings. Two other antivirus firms,
BitDefender Labs and Sophos PLC, also issued warnings yesterday. The
Sony BMG disks install software that is supposed to prevent the user
from making illicit copies of the music and distributing them over the
Internet. But the anticopying software conceals itself so that the
computer user can't easily remove it. Now someone has written a
''Trojan horse" program that exploits this feature of the Sony BMG
software. The program, which is spread through spam e-mails, uses the
Sony BMG code to hide itself. Then the Trojan horse uses the Internet
to contact its creators for further instructions. Eggertson calls for a Sony boycott: It will be a cold day in hell before I buy anything from Sony. I don't
actually care if they are being scapegoated by bloggers and others.
They deserve every bit of damage to their brand that they suffer. Parmet asks: Why do companies act this way? And what makes them think that in the long run they can get away with it? To which I can add only: Any company promoting Shakira, Ricky Martin, and Destiny's Child deserves an exclusive circle of hell.
Technorati tags: Posted by Allan Jenkins at 10:15am in Business, Intellectual Property, Is Tedious in the House?, Management, Marketing, Music | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (1) | TrackBack (1) November 10, 2005PRSA lames out?
Jack O'Dwyer, who's been an enormous thorn in the sides of IABC and PRSA leadership for years (and for good reason, 99% of the time) laments PRSA's ham-handed excuses: "PRSA Assembly delegates on a Nov. 4 teleconference, after complaining
about lack of news about Hurricane Wilma's impact on the 2005
conference in Miami Beach, were given the preposterous explanation that
PRSA does not know how to operate its own website." Via Robert French, of the MarComBlog and Infopinions, who discusses why he's dropping his PRSA membership. Posted by Allan Jenkins at 09:27pm in Communication, Is Tedious in the House?, PRSA | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (1) | TrackBack (0) November 02, 2005Is this Corporate Cluelessness Week? Ask Amy Gahran and Tosh Bilowski
[Update: I published without proofreading, which is always a mistake. The version you see below is an edited version of the original. The message is the same.] Amy has been gently, but firmly urging Panasonic to come clean about its Tosh Bilowski character blog. Like most of us, Amy believes the character blog, in theory, can be a good thing. But, like the rest of us, she's seen no or, at best, few, examples of character blogs that work. And Tosh Bilowski isn't one of them. For me, it's mainly because Tosh isn't an "obvious" character (such as Captain Morgan); instead, he's being passed off as a real person (and a boring one, at that). But what's teeth-jarringly clueless? The snooty and short-sighted responses Gahran gets from Tosh Bilowski's "handler", Jan Crittenden Livingston. Amy noted on her own blog -- that is, in her own space, not Panasonic's -- that "Tosh" apparently wasn't accepting comments she'd posted to the blog. She pointed out that it is Panasonic's right not to publish comments, but wondered if Panasonic was "getting" the concept of conversation. In response, Jan Crittenden Livingston shows she doesn't get it .. she writes Gahran: Hi Amy, The reason we are not posting your commentary is because we do not have to.... We are hoping that it can turn into a nice site where people can come and learn
about all things Hi Def. We do not have to run it like any Blog or Website that
you have seen before, it will be run the way we choose to run it... Bad enough? Livingston uses the Tosh Bilowski GMail addy to sign the thing. Tacky or what? Some people -- me, for example -- would have joyfully skewered Panasonic. Amy patiently and wonderfully turns the episode into a set of guidelines for companies contemplating character blogging. Really fine stuff, Amy!
Technorati tags: Posted by Allan Jenkins at 07:01pm in Bizarre & Amusing, Blogging, Communication, Corporate Communication, Is Tedious in the House?, Marketing, Public Relations | Permalink | Comments Welcome! (2) | TrackBack (0) Bacon's Information & Cluelessness ("it was an error in judgement..." says Bacon's Senior VP)
A final, final, installment of the Bacon's & Cluelessness series that started here and continued here... In this segment: Bacon's SVP admits error and inadvertantly attaches email from underlings begging Bacon's SVP to call off the Desirable Roasted dog. Back home in South Carolina, you can still hear old folks, when confronted with something so astounding that even they can't remember the like, utter, "I swan........." Don't ask me the origin (it has nothing to do with aquatic fowl; I do know that), but it's usually accompanied by slow head-shaking and an expression of disbelief. Sometimes the next line is "Well, the lights are on over there, but ain't nobody home." That's me, thinking of Bacon's. And by the time you read this long post, that's going to be you, too. Yesterday, I posted, at the end of Cluelessness & Bacon's -- to finish the story, this promise: I've sent a mail to Christine Birkner asking a) how
my information got on their database and what that information is and
b) asked for an explanation of the similarity between the Bacon's blog
survey and the Edelman/Technorati one. Many hours later, I had not gotten an acknowledgement from Christine Birkner or her boss, Karen Ericksen. Frankly, I didn't expect an answer, per se, but had hoped for a "ok, we'll get back to you" You know, just to know if someone was home over there. I follow up... So I followed up in an email to Christine Birkner and her boss, Karen Ericksen: "I am sure you are aware
by now the Bacon's Information Blog Survey is becoming somewhat of an
embarrassment for Bacon's. A brief search on Technorati or Google Blogs or even
Google itself will reveal that I am not the only blogger disturbed by the
survey and how it's been handled. Let me repeat my questions: | |||||||||||
While I don't buy it, a 
