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April 07, 2006

International Association of Nobodies Newsletter - Vol. 1, No. 1

This archival e-mail from lunchtime April 6 was already out of date two hours later, but is recorded here for posterity, much the way The Declaration of Independence is cherished in the United States, and the Magna Carta in Britain.

Vol. 1, No. 1

Dear Nobodies:
 
Things have happened so quickly with the formation of The Nobody Club that a few small details have been overlooked. (see later posting about name change)
 
Obviously, we need to elect interim board members, set a date for an inaugural annual meeting, and get started with a membership drive. The more Nobodies we get involved in the administration of the club, the more we can distribute the work.  If each of you can commit to 30 hours of volunteer work over the next six weeks, I think we can pull this off!
 
I have started on a budget, and I'm hoping one of you will volunteer to start the visioning process, which hopefully will lead to a slogan and a logo.  Someone else will need to start making paper hats, so we can maintain a dress code appropriate to the nature of our club. 
 
Can anyone find room on a server to host our club web site and online store?  I doubt our initial club novelty items and clothing line will put much of a load on the system, but once sales exceed $1 million annually (by 2008, if my projections hold water), we may need to move the store to a dedicated server.  Scalability is key.  If we get good uptake on Fark, Slashdot, Scoble and Boing Boing, we may find our sales are beyond our wildest dreams right off the bat!  I'd like to brainstorm the potential for a beanie cap with a propeller, a "Kiss Me, I'm a Nobody" line of quality t-shirts and teddies (we can change the wording once our visioning process is completed), and a non-reflecting titanium "mirror" with "You're Looking at Nobody" laser-etched at the bottom.
 
NobodyClub.org is available, so once we get a start-up budget approved, I can register the domain.
 
In the meantime, we obviously should set out to destabilize, or perhaps infiltrate the existing Nobody Club. Check out www.nobodyclub.com, and maybe look into the owner of the URL and this (address deleted) who is listed as their contact. It's highly suspicious that the existing Nobody Club is operating at or near one of the Axis of Evil countries, North Korea.  We need one of the American members of our club to send out some feelers to the CIA or NSA to see if we qualify for any dark ops money to take out our competition. 
Oops!  I got so carried away with my excitement over the club that I forgot to give a big group hug to Allan Jenkins, without whom we wouldn't be nobodies, and Ike and Andrea, whose support over the first few dark hours were crucial in helping me maintain my slim grip on sanity.  Gary, you just haven't been pulling your weight much yet.  I hope we can count on you to ramp up your invovlement!
 
Until we have our online presence established, and a secure site for confidential club matters, I propose that we keep in touch via e-mail.  I will try to keep club newsletters down to no more than once a day, as I know you're all busy people.
 
 
Sincerely,
 
(hoping to be nominated as Vice-President of Promotions on the board!)
 
P.S.  Can I ask you a special favour?  Go through your contact lists and identify 50 people who you think have what it takes to be a nobody.  If each of us can come up with an initial 50 prospects, and if each of them embraces nobodyness and has 50 more prospects ... well, you can see the sort of exponential growth we could be dealing with!
 
(Please contact Allan before compiling a database for the purposes of spamming  potential nobodies in Europe.  Apparently the legal situation there discourages exciting organizations like ours from flourishing unless we jump through a bunch of bureaucratic hoops.) 

- 30 -

Stay tuned for updates about our progress in this remarkable new venture that is less than 24 hours old.  Membership details should be posted soon.  In the meantime, just post an item on your blog declaring yourself a Nobody, or leave a comment on this blog.

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» A Movement of Nobodies Is Born from Mutually Inclusive PR
I guess it was the dismissiveness of David Murray's insult that pissed me off. The way he called communications consultant Allan Jenkins a nobody in the communications business in the closed milieu of his trade magazine editorial added to my ire. If he... [Read More]

Comments

I have a ton of server space and all of the traffic we can eat. I also can create the storefront. My best friend is good at infiltration; I'll get him on it. Oh, and I can mashup the Podcast. I'm ready!

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